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"As a child, I remember seeing older men in my family do it. I saw my teachers and other male figures in my life do it, and now, as a father myself, I’ve noticed myself doing it. That familiar tell-tale sign that something might not quite be right. The sigh.

"Often dismissed with a ‘why are you huffing?’ or an ‘alright there, Mr Grumpy’, this physical expression of internal frustration can be mistaken for just being a ‘moody bloke’, when it may be a sign that someone is struggling with more than they are letting on."

"For men, opening up about mental health and our emotions has historically been problematic. Generations of the ‘stiff upper lip’, followed by toxic phrases such as ‘grow a pair’ and ‘man up’, have now been further influenced by alpha male social media caricatures who advocate eating concrete for breakfast and bench pressing a tractor. Despite campaigns, infomercials, posters and tireless efforts to counter this, the historic message that men are not expected to show emotion is still highly visible. With that, the burdens of mental ill health can continue, often unnoticed.

"In recent times, men are frequently encouraged to talk about their feelings. Advocacy for men’s mental health is celebrated, and high-profile figures and celebrities alike talk publicly about their struggles and experiences of mental ill health. It is slowly becoming a welcome norm.

"However, around three quarters of people who die by suicide in the UK are men. Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death in men under 50 in the UK.

"It was just over a year ago that I lost a loved one who died by suicide. He was a young father and someone many people knew as the ‘life of the party’. Sadly, he was not the first person in my life to die by suicide.

"What stays with me is that, from the outside, their struggles were not always visible. They were charming, charismatic young men, full of laughter and joy. That’s why I find myself wondering whether there were moments that hinted at what they were carrying, and whether we noticed them for what they were. We can never truly know the burdens a person carries, but we can have the curiosity to try and understand them as best we can.

"This curiosity can be as simple as asking the ‘why’ behind the ‘sigh’.

"This World Suicide Prevention Day, we are encouraging men to open up about their mental health, take positive steps and talk about their feelings. However, the onus doesn’t always have to be on them to make the first move, and that first move doesn’t need to offer a solution or a fix. It can simply establish a safe space, help someone feel heard and validate their feelings."

"I was recently having coffee with a close friend at his house. Like me, he’s a young dad. As he finished a sip of his drink, he did the infamous ‘sigh’. I looked at him and simply asked, ‘You OK, mate?’ He gave a half-hearted ‘yeah, all good’ with a nod. I followed up with, ‘Hard, this grown-up stuff, isn’t it?’ He paused, looked down and nodded: ‘Yeah, man, it’s really hard.’ I gave him a reassuring ‘I’ve got you, mate’ and some other words I can’t quite recall. Nothing drawn out, nothing poetic, just an ‘I hear you, I see you, I’ve got you’.

"This small interaction led to further conversations over the following months, each growing longer as rapport, trust and openness developed, helping us talk about the things hidden behind the masks we put up."

"Men’s mental health is not about expecting men to suddenly articulate their struggles in a monologue. It is more about how we respond to subtle cues and tells. It is about noticing small indicators of what is going on and finding ways to gently open up conversations through curiosity, validation and, most of all, kindness.

"Battles are hard, expectations can feel big and the burden can be heavy. But we don’t necessarily need solutions. Sometimes, we just want to know it is OK to rest for a minute, let out that sigh and hear someone say, ‘I know, mate. I know.’

"So, stay curious, ask open-ended questions, take small steps and celebrate small victories, until we can finally talk about the ‘why’ behind the ‘sigh’.

"Since writing this, I’ve also been thinking about how we can feel more confident in those moments when we notice something has shifted in someone. The free Zero Suicide Alliance suicide awareness training takes around 20 minutes and gives practical guidance on recognising when someone may be struggling, asking about suicide safely and compassionately, and helping them connect with support. We don’t need to have all the answers, but we can learn how to notice, ask and be there."

• Buckinghamshire Talking Therapies free and confidential support. Text TALK and your name to 07798 667 169 or call 01865 901 60
• Visit Qwell, Buckinghamshire’s anonymous digital mental health support platform, offering 24/7 access to moderated peer support, resources and signposting
• Buckinghamshire Safe Haven offers free, out-of-hours mental health support for adults experiencing emotional distress. You can call 1296 453017 (Aylesbury) or 01494 218098 (High Wycombe) to speak to the team or find out more about accessing support.
• Contact the Samaritans any time on 116 123
• If you need urgent mental health help, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999.