The Adventures of Newly Approved Foster Carers, Melissa and John
Melissa and John were approved as foster carers late last year, and open up about how they’ve found the experience so far.
Welcome to our adventure, I hope you enjoy our shared experience.
We started our fostering journey in the first lockdown and welcomed the first children into our care in October 2020. To help us on our journey we had ongoing training, met a range of professionals and made friends in the foster community which we hope will last a lifetime.
Don’t get us wrong, we have faced many challenges along the way. The biggest one was starting fostering in lockdown and having to do home-schooling. But we can honestly say it has all been worth it.
We have found that there is never a dull moment when supporting children and seeing the world through their eyes. It can make you feel quite humble, as many things we take for granted have often been overlooked. Simple things for example; going on a picnic, having a barbeque, climbing a tree or visiting a swimming pool are fabulous adventures that you can help children to experience. We have just taken two boys to the seaside for the first time and their antics (water-filled wellies) had us bursting with pride, as they wouldn’t have had the confidence to do this a month ago. This feeling needs to be bottled as the best well-being medicine on the market. It’s a medicine that all of our families are thriving on. We feel it’s important to give all of the children in our care (biological and fostered) special memories which we hope will build resilience and last a lifetime.
At times our own journey into fostering felt a bit tedious - the initial process dragged, although we had a lovely social worker who did her best to make it enjoyable. We were rather idealistic in our views, but our advice to you would be to wait until a child/children who fit your family makeup comes along – don’t rush as finding the right match to have these adventures with is incredibly important for you all. We haven’t looked back, even our 21-year-old wanted to go to Legoland and most of our adventures have been a family affair. It has brought us all closer together and we are all learning as we go.
Initially, we wanted to find a long-term placement but we have had two short-term placements so far. We would recommend trying short-term first and gaining some confidence and experience as children in foster care have experienced a wide range of challenges that they bring with them, and they need time to recover and find their secure base. It also takes the pressure off making it work and gives both the children and yourselves the time to learn about each other and to build a relationship. There is nothing to say that some short-term placements won’t lead to long term, and it also gives you a break in between placements which can be good for the family.
On reflection, if we were starting this process again our advice would be to read, read, and read. You need to develop an understanding of what you might have to deal with. We won’t lie – it can be challenging, frustrating, and hard work at times, which is why we say look for the fit for your family and don’t rush it - but when it works it’s just magical. You can make a real difference and all the ups and downs along the way are put into perspective when you see little ones knee-deep in rolling waves with beaming grins on their faces.
We are a busy family with one of us teaching and the other being self-employed, but as a family this has really worked for us and we hope you’ll consider joining us on this amazing adventure too.
We have written this as ‘we’ because we are a partnership in everything we do, and this secure partnership provides a secure base for the young people in our care, and we thank our children for being willing to share our love with those who need it.
Find out more
If you’d like to chat with one of our foster carers on a one-to-one basis to hear what it’s really like to Foster with Bucks then please get in touch with us today by emailing us at [email protected]
We also host monthly virtual information events and welcome anyone interested in learning more about the application process in a relaxed and comfortable online environment. Email us to book your place at [email protected]