Blogs Fostering

Anya lives in a bungalow with two teenagers and two cats. She initially trained as a nursery nurse and has experience of working in a specialist school. She spent time working for the NHS with children who are long term ventilated and also for Herts Continuing Care Team. Anya has experience of working with children with autism, cerebral palsy, epilepsy and diabetes, as well as with children who have had tracheostomies and who require tube feeding, hoists or suction.

Elaine grew up as one of 13 children! So, she has had a lot of experience of caring for younger siblings. She was a childminder and then she went to work in a behavioural unit. Elaine also worked in a house in the community for adults with disabilities and at a nursery for children with additional needs. Elaine has worked with children with downs syndrome, autism, cerebral palsy, spina bifida and with general learning difficulties.

What’s it like caring for children with disabilities?

Elaine: I love it! At the moment, with all life’s stresses, that is my respite. There are times when it is difficult and I think “How do I deal with this?”, but you do. Observation is one of the biggest things - just because a child can’t talk, doesn’t mean that they can’t communicate. You can observe their facial expressions and actions or use picture exchange to communicate.

Anya: It seems cliché but it is rewarding. No two days are the same. You almost have to work harder to get the milestones but each one is a huge achievement and it’s more earned and special and it’s a privilege to be a part of.

What information do you need to know to help you care for children with disabilities?

Anya: You need to know how to communicate. It could be through signs, gestures or maybe a smile or a blink. You need to know their medical information, including medication and allergies, and you need to know about routines. Routines are essential to a child. Ask as many questions as you can.

Elaine: You need to know as much as possible. Work with the children -they will show you what is important to them. It’s important to know their food likes and dislikes. It’s important to work as closely as possible with normal routines, even if it’s sleeping on the floor. If you want to change something, you can do that later. Stick to things they know and are comfortable with. A lot of children coming into care have similar needs and can’t cope with change.

What do you enjoy about caring for children with special needs?

Elaine: Building up a relationship with them. That interaction and building up that bond. The first child I cared for was 4 when I started, and I cared for him up until 18. We’re still in contact now. I enjoy watching them begin to do new things and sharing this with their families. I like working with the families and providing them with the support they need. I think this helps prevent a breakdown in the family unit and hopefully stops the child needing to go into care.

Anya: The rewards. Everything is different and challenging. I like to be needed! And I like knowing I am making a difference to the young people. I enjoy building a close relationship with the child and their family. I am still in contact with the majority of children I have cared for and have just been to one of the young people’s 21st birthdays.

What activities do you like to do with your young people?

Anya: Activities to suit the child. I worked with a young man who is diabetic. He loved trains and transport - we used to jump on a tube, head into London, buy a sandwich and coffee and then come back. That’s what he loved to do. We do baking, swimming, going for a walk too.

Elaine: I’m happy to try most things. I have been trampolining, bowling, to the cinema, swimming. I’ve taken some children to the zoo or Thrift Farm. I have ice skated and taken wheelchairs on to the ice! We do craft stuff. It’s about finding what they are interested in. I have one young person teaching me to play computer games!

Is it hard to look after a child with disabilities?

Elaine: It can be difficult to look after any child. If you have built up that relationship, it is more enjoyable. There are always things I haven’t come across before that require quick thinking. I usually come up with different options to try and work through. I worked with one child who didn’t like coming off his computer. In the end, a timer system worked. He would have a 5 minute timer and then he stopped without a problem. I had another young person who used to wake up really early. I set up a toy clock telling him when he could wake up and when the time on the real clock matched, he could get out of bed.

I work with the parents to address the issues jointly. I enjoy working with the parents. They do have the best information about that child and have the child’s best interests at heart.

Anya: It can be hard. However, if you have the right knowledge, equipment and advice, it doesn’t need to be hard. Sometimes on paper it can seem difficult or alien but once you meet the child, you realise that this a child, just like any other child. It’s not scary as long as you have the knowledge and support.

What advice would you give to someone who was thinking of caring for a child with disabilities?

Elaine: Ask lots of questions. I’ve gone into school and into the home to observe them. Many children find a slow transition easier. I like to go to their house first. Then, when they visit mine for the first time, I like the parents to come too. If you’re not sure about something, then ask. I love the challenge - all children have their own challenges.

Anya: I’d say to remember that they are a child before the disabilities. It’s “Fred”, not “Downs Syndrome”. They are still a child no matter what the disability. It doesn’t need to be scary and you will find it rewarding.

My children benefited from their experiences with the children I have cared for - they learned empathy and a better understanding of disability. I would be happy to share advice and knowledge with anyone looking to support a child with disabilities.